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Delta’s Variant

Review of Delta and the Bannermen (#150)

DVD Release Date: 01 Sep 09
Original Air Date: 02 – 16 Nov 1987
Doctors/Companions: Seven, Melanie Bush
Stars: Sylvester McCoy, Bonnie Langford
Preceding Story: Paradise Towers (Seven, Mel)
Succeeding Story: Dragonfire (Seven, Mel, Ace)

Before I sat down to rewatch Delta and the Bannermen for this month’s Highs & Lows installment, I wrote down a short list of what I could remember about it. Aside from a general sense of distaste and the firm knowledge this was one at the Lows end of the scale, there wasn’t much. At the same time, those few notes were surprisingly accurate: try-out for Mel’s replacement; space bees?; Welsh(?) holiday lodgings; space bus.

I’ll admit that I only remembered about the Shangri-La holiday camp (which is not a term commonly used by Americans, at least not where I’m from) when I looked at the DVD cover, but it ended up being perhaps the biggest highlight for me. And though I knew Ray had been a potential new Companion, I’d utterly forgotten that she had that lovely, Welsh lilt (an accent I originally learned thanks to Torchwood).

Both of those details go in my personal “pros” column not least because I’ve been learning Welsh on Duolingo for the last several years (along with a few other languages). Thus, the addition of local color to the story by having a couple of the characters use a few sentences of Welsh with each other (one or two of which I could actually parse) was a particular bonus for me. Sadly, that wasn’t enough to save the overall story.

As ridiculous as it sounds, my note about “space bees” wasn’t far off, either. I can see why it might possibly sound good on paper—taking elements of non-human Terran lifeforms and grafting them onto a humanoid species is a science fiction staple—but in practice… Well, for one thing, they were a little heavy-handed with the metaphor, adding in a local beekeeper just to drive the point home.

And though the fact that the adventure only spans three episodes is, in general, a mercy, it does make Billy’s sudden and extreme attachment to Delta, queen of the Chimera, feel rather rushed. If it had run for the originally-intended six episodes instead, perhaps it would’ve been easier for me to buy into the idea that [SPOILER] Billy was willing to induce a genetic mutation in himself, effectively making himself a variant lifeform, just to stay with Delta and her offspring.

In fact, the extensive cast of side characters made me feel a bit like our TARDIS crew was extraneous, particularly Mel (which makes sense, since they were looking to replace her). Granted, the Doctor is rushing around doing Doctory things, only letting the audience (and sometimes those with him) know what he’s up to when a plan comes to fruition. But that’s almost background buzz (ahem). It’s so very typically Seventh Doctor that it hardly registers as part of the story.

Perhaps that’s the thing that confuses me most. I like the Seventh Doctor, and usually like his adventures, but this one just doesn’t work for me. I can point neither to exactly what turns me off about Delta nor to things that I particularly enjoy. At best, I get “weird space bees and Billy’s in too deep too fast” and “but Wales!” respectively.

Regardless, I can’t deny that I’m pretty well in accord with Charlie Jane Anders when she ranks Delta as #246 of 254. My advice is to let your pandemic habits inform your interactions with this adventure. While if you come across it, it won’t harm you, perhaps it’s still best practice to keep a little social distance from this Delta, too.