There’s one thing that can divide a fandom faster than the Vashta Nerada can skeletonize a human: shipping. And the Dallas Cowboys (or Man U) of Who fandom ships—the one you either love or love to hate—is the Tenth Doctor and Rose. Let me break down the two camps, in terms of very broad generalizations (we’re talking horoscope broad, so obviously, YMMV).

On the one side, you have hardcore Ten/Rose shippers. They see Ten and Rose as an OTP (or “one true pairing”)—the ultimate ship that cannot be sunk, no matter what else is written before, after, for, or about the couple. As far as I can tell, some of these shippers go so far as to deny that any story that doesn’t involve Ten and Rose is innately inferior, and thereby beneath their notice, or at least a questionable use of their time.

On the other, you have Ten/Rose shipper-haters. These fans actively hate the Ten/Rose ship, and in many cases even extend that distaste to fans who do ship it. Further, a fair number of these anti-shippers believe that the Doctor does not (or should not) ever be in a romantic relationship of any sort. A non-negligible subset of these fans seem to think very little of the post-Hiatus show is worth their time.

And here I sit in the middle.

Frankly, both extremes here irritate me. Yes, I ship Ten/Rose, but their relationship is certainly not the be-all-end-all of Who. I also don’t think, anymore, that many of the Ten/Rose episodes are all that fantastic. Thus I sit firmly on the fence for this one, and find myself either dodging slings and arrows from both sides, or—more often—throwing up my hands in disgust, taking my TARDIS mug, and going home.

How did I get here? It started way back at the beginning of my fandom. I was introduced to the show via Nine; thus Rose was my first Companion. I developed quite an emotional attachment to her, and through her, to the Doctor. But it wasn’t until she traveled with Ten that my fan status was solidified. It was that series—that relationship—that irrevocably drew me in. I fell in love with the Doctor (yes, “that way”) and lived vicariously through Rose. I was absolutely devastated when they lost each other.

So don’t tell me there’s no worth in the Ten/Rose ship.

That love, though, led me to the other Doctors. I watched that crotchety old git kidnap Ian & Barbara, felt their horror and amazement, then learned to respect and even love him as he mellowed. And when he left, I loved the clown, the dandy, the one who was all teeth and curls, the one with feckless charm, the one with the most questionable fashion sense, the one with the brolly and the dark side, and the one who claimed to be half-human—I loved each and every one of them in turn, all because I’d been hooked.

So don’t tell me there’s nothing outside the Ten/Rose ship.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: everyone experiences fandom their own way, and it’s not up to anyone else to define who is or isn’t a “real” fan. And while both sides have valid points, it seems to me no one stops to listen because they’re too busy defending attacks on their own sacred ground. I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything different, because there’s one thing all fans share: passion.