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Confession #30: I Want the Doctor’s Constitution

Although we see it precious little (regeneration sickness, hand getting cut off), one kind of has to assume that over his hundreds of years, the Doctor gets sick or injured from time to time. So how does he make it through? Who doctors the Doctor?

During One’s era, we occasionally saw the TARDIS crew take advantage of the First Aid kit, though Vicki didn’t necessarily trust its contents not to be barbaric, given the time from which her crewmates originated. There was also the Zero Room when Five was having a rough time of his regeneration, and that “device” Three had Sarah Jane retrieve when he was ill on Metebelis III well before the incident that caused his own regeneration. Other than that, though, we haven’t really seen much in the way of medical facilities on the TARDIS. Does she have a sick bay? Even if she did, who would be qualified to treat the Doctor there?

I suppose there are several options. Either (a) the Doctor is immune to most diseases and injuries, (b) he is incredibly lucky, (c) he is able to heal himself off-screen with facilities or abilities never introduced to the audience, (d) he carefully selects a facility he trusts somewhere in time and space and has the TARDIS take him there, or (e) he uses that healing with regeneration energy crap he pulled recently to heal River.

Personally, I hope it’s not that last option. I really hate the stupid shiny regeneration energy concept as a whole, so thinking that it’s what’s responsible for keeping the Doctor generally hale is irksome. It is, however, the one option that seems to have much corroborating evidence within the scope of televised stories.

Being a Whovian, however, I can always play the “personal canon” card. Sometimes we have to pick and choose what counts as canon in our show, as it tends to contradict even itself. So I’m going with “it’s a combination of options a through d.” That’s what makes the most sense to me and the way I view the Whoniverse.

Whatever the case, I sure wish he’d share some of his mojo with me; this pinched nerve thing sucks rocks. I mean, I can hardly even think about Doctor Who. What’s up with that?

6 Comments

  1. John Beckwith

    I Choose Superpower B. If Luck Is Related To His Babbleshield
    I agree with the it’s-doctor-who-so-the-answer-is-probably-all-of-the-above solution, since this series runs proudly loose with its continuity anyway. I personally like b the best, partly because I suspect his legendary probability manipulation is related to his other superpower. Which superpower? The one that causes all guns in the room to become inoperable for as long as he keeps talking. 😀

  2. John Beckwith

    On the Subject of Exceptionally Effective Healing…
    …during a party of friends who were almost all lifelong sci-fi enthusiasts, I asked everybody to go around the room and say what one superpower could they each have if superpowers were real. In regards to fast healing and immunity to all diseases, an unexpected realization came out. Namely, after a few months of a person knowing that they can’t get sick or injured, their personal hygiene would go right down the drain. I mean, wow, where’s the motivation for a person to ever shower or take those pizza boxes to the trash? It would be disgusting, not to mention the government would probably demand that the person does his/her civic duty by grabbing a scrub brush and climbing around inside nuclear reactors and half-rusted drums of Agent Orange.

    Hmmmmm. I think I can see why the Doctor likes to move on without saying big good-byes after each adventure. After the accolades comes the clean-up. “Hey, let’s get that doctor guy down here to help our UNIT interns shovel up all this glowing green glop that used to be a space monster. After all, HE won’t catch any weird infections, and he’s the one who blew it up in the first place.”

    • mrfranklin

      ~snort~
      I’m not sure I agree with your hygiene hypothesis – after all, social norms are pretty deeply ingrained, and even if one couldn’t get sick, one could still smell offensive. 😉 But I like your hypothesis about how the Doctor skips out every chance he gets!

  3. Tree

    Messiness and Disease
    I have to say that there would be motivation to clean, even if you couldn’t get sick. Most people would simply be disgusted to live in filth. Additionally, I have spent a prolonged amount of time in the hospital, and they don’t let you shower if you are hooked up to IV bags, monitors, etc.. and you are too sick to get out of bed. The desire to even use a washcloth and soap on one’s self is overwhelming. The day I was able to take a shower after my illness was a wonderful one indeed! The desire to feel clean is a human trait, and I would imagine it is a Time Lord one as well. After all, they are more evolved than humans!

    As for the Doctor and illness, I attribute his health to his longevity. Maybe he’s fought off those different viruses and bacteria throughout his life span. In that case, he might just be lucky!

    However, when one of the “witches” in Shakespearan England (Martha’s 2nd episode, I think), tried to stop his heart, we did find it would be pretty handy to have two hearts. Also, in “Smith and Jones,” we learned he could lose an awful lot of blood due to alien attack, and then be revived by Martha.

    LOL, maybe he should require all his companions to take a first aid and CPR course. You never know these days!

    • mrfranklin

      Cleanliness
      I think the cleanliness thing might have sprung from health considerations ages ago, but I concur that it’s more of a matter of habit and preference at this point.

      As for what a Companion needs to know, I’m sure every Whovian would come up with a different list! 🙂

      • Tree

        History of Cleanliness
        It might have sprung from health concerns, but people didn’t even start to realize until the end of the 19th century, that they should wash their hands regularly. They didn’t understand that being hygenic and in good health were related. It’s a fairly recent understanding. Doctors would operate on sick people, deliver babies, and move on to others who were sick, all without washing their hands.

        People also couldn’t wash as much if they lived in a colder climate, didn’t have the resources, or were simply otherwise engaged with work so many hours a day, that they didn’t have time to wash as much as we do. The biggest thing, though, was that they didn’t have running water. That’s so recent that many people remember a time without running water in a house. Add electricity to the mix, and you have hot water – usually much easier to bathe in than cold water, unless it’s extremely hot outside. Plus, people felt bathing too often would make them sick – and there is some truth to this, because bathing in lukewarm or cold water during the winter was surefire way to get ill. Also, they didn’t empty the bathwater after every person. Tbe last person in the bathtub would wash in very dirty water. Not so hygenic, LOL. But I’m off the topic of Dr Who, far off!

        Yes, there would probably be a separate list concerning companions – for each Whovian! Very true! 🙂

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