Menu Close

Tag: River Song

Something That Matters

Review of The Impossible Astronaut
Warning:  This review contains episode-specific spoilers and wild speculation about future episodes.

Wow.  Where do I start?
Maybe it’s best to back up and explain that in the lead-up to Series Six, especially in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been doing my desperate best to avoid seeing any spoilers for the series – I’ve even avoided some of the official BBC news items.  Hopefully this attempt at isolationism will allow me to come to the series with a suitable sense of surprise as new plot points are revealed to the Doctor and his Companions. (If you’ve already read all the spoilers, you’ll probably be able to tell me exactly where I’m going wrong in my analysis and speculations, but please don’t.  I really want to find out in my own time, by watching the episodes.)  I have to say, I found plenty of surprises, but even more tantalizing tidbits that could be either clues or red herrings (with Moffat you never know).
From the moment in the prequel when Nixon assures his caller that “there are no monsters in the Oval Office” (a beautiful political double entendre that you can apply to your administration of choice), it’s clear that we’re in for a doozy.  And the action really is pretty much non-stop from the rapid strides of an irate monarch right through to the moment we hear the sting into the credits.
As I understand it, one of Moffat’s goals was to make the season opener feel more like the finale in scope and drama.  For my money, he’s done it.  Surely there has never yet been a single episode so crammed full of quotable (and quite possibly notable, in terms of story arc) quotes.  Some are just plain hilarious (like the exchange when the Doctor’s asserts that River’s wearing her “‘he’s hot when he’s clever’ face”), some are poignant (“We do what the Doctor’s friends always do:  what we’re told.”), and some set off little alarm bells (“You lot.  Thought I’d never get done saving you…”).
Read more →

Confession #5: I Have My Own Theories About River Song

2 Comments

This is more an “admission” than a confession, but hey – it’s my blog.

Especially with Series Six coming up in a matter of weeks, and a promise that “everything changes,” ideas about who River Song “really is” are as abundant as fans who watch Nu-Who (if not more so).  I figured now was as good a time as any to put forth my own.

Perhaps I should start with a brief list of the most common hypotheses that I don’t buy.  For example:

  • She’s the Doctor’s wife.  Yeah, right.  They may act “like an old married couple” and there have been hints dropped left and right that they are, but I just can’t credit it.  Undoubtedly, there’s a romantic (or even just sexual) component to the relationship, but if River is the Doctor’s wife, then that is only a fraction of the whole story.  Otherwise, the rest makes no sense.
  • She’s a future incarnation of the Doctor.  This idea clearly comes out of certain fans’ long-standing desire to see a female Doctor, but River Song is no Valeyard.  While she clearly knows how to handle herself in the TARDIS and such, she’s much too comfortable with violence in general, and guns in particular, for me ever to believe she’s the Doctor.
  • She’s another Time Lord.  I’m more willing to believe this one than some of the others, but it still doesn’t ring true to me.  If she’s traipsing around the 51st century, why is the Doctor convinced all through the rest of Nu-Who that he (or, for a time, the Master) is the last of the Time Lords?  Supposedly he can sense other Time Lords, regardless of where (or, presumably, when) they are.  None of that fits with what we know of River.
  • She’s the Doctor’s mother/daughter.  Are these people on drugs?  There is nothing either maternal or filial in River’s attitude toward the Doctor.  If there were, then other comments would be distinctly incestuous in nature, which is far too creepy for someone like Moffat to include in a show that is – at least in Britain – specifically aimed at a family audience.  I’d sooner believe the Woman in White from The End of Time had either familial relationship with the Doctor (most certainly not my interpretation) than that River does.
Read more →