When I Say “Run”…

Review of Orphan 55
Warning: This review contains episode-specific spoilers and wild speculation about future episodes.

It’s never a good sign when I procrastinate my second viewing. The first time I watch a new episode is just to experience it; the second time is to take notes about the things I want to talk about in my reviews. When I’m not keen on watching again right away, I know I’m in trouble.

There are some interesting ideas in Orphan 55, but for me they were overshadowed by an overwhelming darkness and a storyline that was a bit too on-the-nose to be a good cautionary tale. In fact, when I review my notes, the only wholly positive ones I find are either quotes I liked (“If I had crayons and half a can of SPAM®, I could build you from scratch!”) or praise for Yaz’s quick thinking.

Most of the rest involve either nitpicks or outright cringing, and I’m having a tough time separating out what is an inherent flaw and what is merely a sign that this particular episode is Not For Me™.

For instance, I know for a fact that neither resorts nor post-apocalyptic wastelands are my jam (either in fiction or real life), so the episode was bound to be a hard sell from the get-go. The whole grimdark flavor did nothing to improve matters. But is it then the setting and tone that make the episode so hard for me to sit through, or is it the “scratch the surface and the flaws all show” construction?

While I always enjoy seeing connections to past stories—this time I saw elements of The Leisure Hive, Midnight, The Daleks, ToaTL: The Mysterious Planet, and even a dash of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy—I don’t want that to be the highlight of the experience. I want something to uplift me, give me hope, or at least make me think.

Instead, I found myself keeping track of the named-character bodycount (Benni, Hyph3n, Vorm, Vilma, Kane (psych, then presumed), and Bella (presumed)) and picking holes in the story logic. If the gang is running out of “breathable air,” why is there a fire burning cheerfully in the tunnel? The Dregs are “apex predators” that have been on the planet for “generations,” but there is no sign of any other kind of life outside the dome—so what have they been eating all this time (besides resort guests)? If there are 23 guests at Tranquility Spa and four get killed as Kane, Hyph3n, and the Doctor watch the screen (down to 19), but Bella, Ryan, and another are in the steam room (that’s 16) and Graham, Yaz, Benni, and Vilma meet up outside the “linen cupboard” (12 left), why can we see at least 18 people milling around at the transporter pad?

When a viewer’s mind goes that far astray, maybe there’s more than just personal preferences at play. Sadly, to explore that idea further, I’d have to put more time and mental energy into this episode, and I’ve got better things to do with my time.

In summary, unless you’re a fan of the tropes I’ve outlined above, or of anguished self-sacrifice (which we get at least twice) or dysfunctional parent/child relationships (again, twice over), my best advice regarding Orphan 55 is, to quote the Doctor, “Run!”