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It’s Just Gunge

Review of The Rebel Flesh
Warning:  This review contains episode-specific spoilers and wild speculation about future episodes.


Source – bbc.co.uk – © 2011 BBC

Derivative much?  It’s been a long time since I saw a story so predictable; I knew the major plot points by the time last week’s trailer was over.  Great:  some sort of it-could-be-human-except-it’s-not-alive technology becomes self-aware and gets in a fight for its life with “real” humans.  ~yawn~

Not only does this echo countless science fiction/horror classics from Frankenstein to Blade Runner to Who‘s own Robots of Death (fear of the nearly-us-but-clearly-Other is deep-seated), the story is a ripoff of other, newer Who stories.  There are obvious parallels with stories as recent as The Waters of Mars and The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood, not to mention smatterings of The Doctor’s Daughter, The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit and just about every Auton or base-under-siege story ever made. And did anyone not see the “cliffhanger” coming from the instant the Doctor first touched the Flesh?  If that had been any more heavily telegraphed, viewers would’ve had to set up little cable offices in their living rooms (or wherever they watch their Who) to take the messages down.So let’s get the boring stuff out of the way first. When our heroes first walk into the monastery, the camera POV from behind the stones is suggestive of someone watching them – like a Ganger already going walkabout. Later, it’s only Jennifer who’s not hooked up. Why? Is she already a stabilized, independent Ganger? Could be. Wouldn’t surprise me if that crops up next time (like the one Operator who keeps sneezing; Chekov’s gun much?). And does Ganger-Jennifer mean anything more than that she plans to disable her Operator-self when she says she’s going to “take care of the spare one running around out there”? Or is there a spare Ganger? Truth be told, I don’t really care. I just feel I need to speculate to stay awake…

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Sexy Is As Sexy Does

Review of The Doctor’s Wife
Warning:  This review contains episode-specific spoilers and wild speculation about future episodes.

Oh, me of little faith.


Source – bbc.co.uk – © 2011 BBC

Even knowing Neil Gaiman’s work both by reputation and by example (e.g., the rather dark novel American Gods), I still doubted the likely quality of the episode he had written once I learned some of the details.   Specifically, when the news of Episode 4’s title came out, I groaned inwardly.  OK, sure, I was 99.9999% certain it was a red herring – nothing “new” and “notable” would be learned about the Doctor’s personal history, and there was going to be some tricky way in which there was and yet wasn’t an actual wife (spot on there) – but just the suggestion was enough to turn my stomach, especially since I knew there were going to be fans out there somewhere saying, “I knew it! Here’s where we learn about River!”

And then there was the Ood.  Now don’t get me wrong – the Ood are an interesting enough race, and they certainly have their place (I happen to believe that place is firmly in the RTD era…).  Regardless, the sight of an Ood at the end of last week’s trailer was enough to reduce my appetite for this episode by about an order of magnitude.  Thank goodness all of that was totally irrelevant.

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In the Manner of a Sorbet…

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Review of The Curse of the Black Spot
Warning:  This review contains episode-specific spoilers and wild speculation about future episodes.

I have to admit, I like a good pirate story as much as the next Deppophile, and what genre doesn’t get better when you add Doctor Who?  Well, maybe a pirate story…


Source – bbc.co.uk – © 2011 BBC

I’m not saying there was anything wrong with Black Spot, but it was a rather run-of-the-mill, overall unremarkable kind of episode.  It was a classic romp – nice and fluffy – something to cleanse the palate between that meaty season-opener and the much-anticipated Gaiman-penned episode coming up next.  I’ve read that it was originally intended to be aired in the episode 10 slot, and I can see that working; there’s clearly no major story arc here.  There are, of course, a few nods at what has come before (e.g., a flashback to the Doctor’s death) and a few hints at things yet to come, like another appearance of Creepy Eyepatch Lady (CEL).

You have to wonder what the CEL signifies.  I think her lines are our biggest clue.  When we first saw her in Day of the Moon, she said something about someone “just dreaming.”  We can interpret that as we may, meaning The Little Girl, Amy, or someone completely different.  My latest hypothesis, based on her comments in Black Spot (“It’s done. You’re doing fine. Just stay calm.”), is that she’s speaking of (and to) Amy.  Might Amy not be undergoing some medical procedure (e.g., insemination with Time Lord DNA), and her current adventures are her subconscious or other-dimensional experiences during said procedure?  I admit that’s pretty out there, but it could fit the (admittedly sparse) data.

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A Pregnant Silence

Review of Day of the Moon
Warning:  This review contains episode-specific spoilers and wild speculation about future episodes.  It also contains profanity.  Proceed at your own risk.

This being the first story of the series, I wasn’t expecting resolution for many of the dangling plot threads in the second half of the two-parter. However, I don’t think I expected as many new ones to be woven in, either. And frankly, I’m not convinced that the threads that seemed to get tied up really are. Oh, what a tangled web Moff weaves…

Starting things off in style with a beautifully wrought mind-fuck allows the production team to squeeze in a few more shots of the good ol’ US of A (I have to say, it’s slightly amusing in Confidential to watch the Brits wax poetic about the American landscape; I suppose it’s a grass-is-always-greener situation, since I find the backdrops here beautiful but almost blasé in their familiarity, while I’d be walking around London and surrounds like a slack-jawed yokel, myself), and puts the viewer off-kilter for a beat.

But soon we’re back to the more familiar, with the Doctor having done something incredibly clever (watch him *snap* the TARDIS open), and River having trusted him with her life yet again. A little bit of exposition later, and it’s on to a truly hide-behind-the-sofa-worthy haunted house. I have to say this is one of the creepiest (darkest, if you will – that seems to be the adjective the production team is using) episodes I’ve ever seen, from any era.

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Confessions of a Neowhovian Has Regenerated!

Welcome to the new incarnation of Confessions of a Neowhovian.  Under the new site structure, you'll find Confessions, Reviews, and Nu-Views all within their own blog stream, with the most recent post from any category showing up here on the front page.  You'll be able to subscribe to an RSS feed for any of them individually or all of them together, depending on from which page you choose to add the feed.

Another new feature is that each post will appear as a "teaser" here on the front page.  Just click on the title or on "read more" to go to the full post.  From the post page, you'll also be able to add comments, if you are so inclined.  Unfortunately, all the previously posted comments were lost during site regeneration (though they're still there at the previous incarnation).  Please don't let that deter you from posting here.

Finally, I'd like to send a big Thank You to Rich Morris for the beautiful art he created for me for the new site!  I never knew I could look so awesome as a 'Toon.  Be sure to check out his Comix Blog if you've never seen it before – it's well worth a read for any Whovian.

Again, welcome to the new site, and thanks for reading!

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Something That Matters

Review of The Impossible Astronaut
Warning:  This review contains episode-specific spoilers and wild speculation about future episodes.

Wow.  Where do I start?
Maybe it’s best to back up and explain that in the lead-up to Series Six, especially in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been doing my desperate best to avoid seeing any spoilers for the series – I’ve even avoided some of the official BBC news items.  Hopefully this attempt at isolationism will allow me to come to the series with a suitable sense of surprise as new plot points are revealed to the Doctor and his Companions. (If you’ve already read all the spoilers, you’ll probably be able to tell me exactly where I’m going wrong in my analysis and speculations, but please don’t.  I really want to find out in my own time, by watching the episodes.)  I have to say, I found plenty of surprises, but even more tantalizing tidbits that could be either clues or red herrings (with Moffat you never know).
From the moment in the prequel when Nixon assures his caller that “there are no monsters in the Oval Office” (a beautiful political double entendre that you can apply to your administration of choice), it’s clear that we’re in for a doozy.  And the action really is pretty much non-stop from the rapid strides of an irate monarch right through to the moment we hear the sting into the credits.
As I understand it, one of Moffat’s goals was to make the season opener feel more like the finale in scope and drama.  For my money, he’s done it.  Surely there has never yet been a single episode so crammed full of quotable (and quite possibly notable, in terms of story arc) quotes.  Some are just plain hilarious (like the exchange when the Doctor’s asserts that River’s wearing her “‘he’s hot when he’s clever’ face”), some are poignant (“We do what the Doctor’s friends always do:  what we’re told.”), and some set off little alarm bells (“You lot.  Thought I’d never get done saving you…”).
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Farewell to an Old Friend

All too soon after Nicholas Courtney, one of fandom's favorite Who actresses has passed on.  Yesterday Elisabeth Sladen, known to Whovians of all flavors as Sarah Jane Smith, died of cancer.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was without Internet most of the day yesterday, so I know I'm a little late to join in, but I wanted to add my voice to the chorus of those expressing their regret for her death at such a relatively young age (63).  Everything I've ever heard of her indicates she was a lovely person, and I'm so sad that we will not have her bright light with us any more.

RIP, Lis.  You will be missed.
 

Elisabeth Sladen
01 Feb 1948 – 19 Apr 2011

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When Religion Meets Who

Review of Kinda (#119) – Mara Tales, Part 1

DVD Release Date: 12 Apr 11
Original Air Date: 01 – 09 Feb 1982
Doctor/Companion:   Five, Adric, Tegan Jovanka
Stars:  Peter Davison, Matthew Waterhouse, Janet Fielding
Preceding Story:  Four to Doomsday (Five, Adric, Nyssa, Tegan)
Succeeding Story:  The Visitation (Five, Adric, Nyssa, Tegan)

In the UK, Kinda and Snakedance were released together (in March 2011) as a boxed set called Mara Tales.  Due to that fact, not to mention the fast-approaching premiere of Series Six, I’ve decided to post my reviews of both DVDs together.  It’s my hope that that will also allow me to provide a sense of continuity between the two, which comprise the only appearances of the antagonist/creature known as the Mara.

Kinda is all about Story.  There are grand ideas and deeper themes that actually kind of obscure the regular characters.  More than in most cases, the Doctor is swept up in events around him, and things just happen to, rather than because of, him; his presence (unlike Tegan’s) is really inconsequential.  That fact alone makes it a rather atypical story, even before considering the aforementioned themes.

Further, the Companion dynamics are a bit odd.  Although this is smack in the middle of Nyssa’s time in the TARDIS, she appears for a total of about 3 minutes in the entire story, at the very beginning and end.  The others get separated early in the first episode, leaving Tegan to play her key role in the unfolding drama, while Adric tags along with the Doctor.  When Tegan and Adric finally are reunited, they snark at each other so much you wonder how no blood has yet been shed in the TARDIS.  In fact, it was this exchange – which painted Adric in a particularly poor light, as a self-absorbed ass – that finally gave me a better sense of why so many fans dislike him so thoroughly.

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Confession #10: I Wish the Doctor Wouldn’t Lie About His Age

I’m hardly the first person to rant about this, but I have to say it’s one of the things that bugs me most about the on-screen revival of the Doctor: he’s constantly lying about his age.  Oh, sure, you can hide behind the old saw that he really has no clue – what with all his traipsing through time and space, I’ve no doubt that he’s lost track exactly – but that’s really no excuse.

Think on this.  There have been nearly a dozen occasions when the Doctor specified his age (I’m only considering televised episodes here – no spin-off media, since those bring in a whole extra level of complexity and continuity issues).  My research indicates he gave his age in the following episodes with the numbers indicated:

Tomb of the Cybermen:  450
Mind of Evil:  “several thousand years”
DW and the Silurians and Planet of the Spiders:  748
Brain of Morbius and Seeds of Death:  749
Robots of Death:  750
Key to Time (Ribos Operation):  756 759
Revelation of the Daleks and Trial of a Timelord:  “900, more or less”
Time and the Rani:  953

Two of these situations in particular lead me to believe the Time Lords, at least, had ways of keeping track of such things.  For starters, Romana has his exact age (759) on the tip of her tongue when the question of whether or not the Doctor is “old” is raised at the beginning of The Ribos Operation.  He corrects her (“756!”), but she claims he’s “lost count somewhere,” suggesting his age (or date of birth, even) is part of the “confidential” information to which Romana seems privy (what with details of his Academy record also blithely cascading forth).

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Confession #9: I’m Tired of Catchphrases

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The Daleks just wouldn’t be the Daleks if they didn’t trundle around screaming Exterminate!, but before Nu-Who (or “the RTD era,” as some would prefer the beginning of the Doctor’s on-screen return to be called), they pretty much had the monopoly on catchphrases.  These days, everybody’s got one, from the Cybermen (Delete!) to the Sontarans (Sontar-ha!) to the Doctor himself (the repeated use of Geronimo! is the one thing that really rubs me the wrong way about Eleven).  Even the Companions are getting into the act (Spoilers, anyone?).

Since when was having a clearly identifiable catchphrase cool?  Somehow “fantastic!” didn’t sound as inane coming from Nine’s lips, but perhaps I just wasn’t yet inured to the idea of the same word popping out of the Doctor’s mouth every other episode.  It gets much worse with Ten, who even goes so far as to consciously cultivate a catchphrase in Army of Ghosts:  “I like that: allons-y! I should say ‘allons-y‘ more often.”  And, of course, after that he does.  He even gets to uncork his self-proclaimed ideal catchphrase (“Allons-y, Alonzo!”) in Voyage of the Damned.

It’s getting out of control.  For a particular example, put yourself in the Doctor’s place.  I mean seriously – you’re about to sacrifice everything in a last-ditch effort to save the entire universe, you have one last chance to say something to your beloved friends, and you choose… “Geronimo”?!  What sort of shitty “famous last word” is that?  I mean, generally speaking, I dearly love Moffat’s writing (The Curse of Fatal Death still puts me in danger of snorting my drink out my nose every time), but c’mon…

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