Even though her successor hasn’t yet been announced, with the second of Jodie Whitaker’s final three specials confirmed to air at Easter time, it’s finally starting to hit home that the Thirteenth Doctor is on her way out. That inevitable cycle of grief, denial, and acceptance of each Doctor’s incarnations is having its way with me again.

I remember the last time we were here. Capaldi’s Doctor was one of my favorites, and I was extremely sad to see him go. In particular, I really wanted to see what he could do under the pen of a different showrunner. Alas, that doesn’t seem to be something I will ever get with a modern Doctor.

I actually discussed that with friends at Gally this year: although in modern Who we’ve occasionally seen Companions stay with the Doctor into another regeneration (Rose, Clara), there has never been either a Doctor or a Companion who has bridged showrunners. That strikes me as a real failing of this era. Wouldn’t it be more interesting to see multiple captains’ hands on the tiller for any given Doctor? Alas, it’s long been clear that Jodie and Chibnall were a package deal. Despite my wish to see Doctors transcend their showrunners, now is most certainly not the time.

What it ought to be time for is the metaphorical wailing and gnashing of teeth. However, although I really like Jodie, she’s not at the top of my personal preference list; while I’ve really enjoyed having her in the role, I never got to the “Best. Doctor. Ever.” stage. Perhaps that’s why I’m not quite grieving her impending departure the way I did Capaldi’s (or maybe it’s just that same ol’ COVID burnout that’s plaguing everyone).

I am, however, eagerly anticipating the casting of her successor. Contrary to the standard “There’s no way you can replace her!” stage, I’ve been wondering, “How can you top this?” Frankly, I’d love to have Jo Martin’s Ruth!Doctor (aka the Fugitive Doctor) return as the lead, but I don’t think she ever will (though I do have high hopes for her returning for other appearances). I’m therefore left to hope for a vague “someone” who will excite me instead of shoving me into the “I hate this guy” stage.

Let’s be clear, any “guy” who is cast will get that reaction from me; my most basic-level personal wishlist item for the characteristics of the next Doctor is “not a cisgender man.” But if RTD must cast a cisgender man, then he sure as hell better not be white. People would call such a choice “stunt-casting,” much like they did with Jodie, but I don’t care.

Because while Jodie’s casting might have been seen by many as an audacious choice (though real talk: she’s still young, white, and good-looking), she’s also a damn good actor, and she’s brought some interesting things to the role. So would any other actor who didn’t fit the previous demographic profile of a Doctor—because their own life experiences allow them to approach the character differently. Adding that kind of depth and shift in perspective is critical to keeping the character fresh.

So I find myself in that liminal space of the regeneration fandom cycle between “Doctor announces their departure” and “New Doctor announced,” mildly saddened to know Jodie has almost come to the end of her run, but mostly holding my breath for what’s to come. I don’t know exactly how I’ll react when the news finally breaks, but whoever the next Doctor turns out to be, I know I’ll eventually come to love them, too. It’s just part of the cycle.