I know everybody talks about needing a TARDIS so they can do everything they want to get done in their busy lives. I’ve said that on many an occasion myself (though perhaps a Time-Turner like Hermione used in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban would be more appropriate for venues like Gallifrey One). Nothing new there.

But I need a TARDIS for the storage space.

Seriously—why can’t I rent a storage locker that takes up 5’x10′ in the building floor plan, but is actually the size of my house? Taking decades’ worth of accumulated crap (some of it more crappy than others) and whittling it down into a space small enough to be transported 4 or 5 miles (~7 km) across town is a mighty endeavor. If I didn’t have to worry about cramming it all into a volume the size of a single room (or even three), I’d be much less stressed out right now.

And being able to store it all right in the vehicle that would haul it? Bonus!

Can you imagine what it might be like to try out a few arrangements of your furniture in your new place before you had access to it? I’m envisioning a section of my TARDIS that emulates the upcoming location so that I could tuck furniture, artwork, and knick-knacks into various places to see how it works before committing to placing them in a particular spot in the actual house.

Of course, I’d still have to move things around multiple times, but with my special TARDIS suite, at least I’d have so much room to stack boxes that I wouldn’t have to worry about having enough of them packed in suitably a load-bearing manner that nothing would get crushed when each stack got as tall as I am.

But in the end, it all comes back down to time. If we didn’t have to have all of our belongings out of our current house before closing on its sale—which has to happen before closing on the purchase of our new place—which in turn has to happen before we can put any of our belongings into said new digs—none of this would be an issue. Little did I realize last time we did this how fortunate we were to have the option to move everything to our new residence piecemeal.

How about a TARDIS shuttle service? As each new batch of boxes gets packed, we can send it ahead to the day after closing to be delivered. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about the storage issue at all. That’s actually quite brilliant; I think I have a new business plan.

Now where do you suppose I can get my hands on an old TARDIS for sale, cheap?