Earlier this week I learned that not only Karen Gillan but also Matt Smith would be across town at the end of next week for a convention. My first reaction was surprise. The second was glee. The third—which has continued ever since—was dejection.

Why such a gamut? To start, I never expected such big stars to visit my adopted home town. Living in the American Midwest, I’ve become inured to the disadvantages of “flyover country.” No one would ever have a (major studio) film opening in Chicago—the only city “important” enough to have a chance at shaking off its flyover status—let alone here in the Twin Cities. Minneapolis is not the place to go for “sightings” of film or television stars at restaurants or social hotspots du jour.

So hearing that Minneapolis Comic Con (the Wizard World run convention) had wrangled both recent Who stars (among an impressive list of others) came as a bit of a shock. That’s when I started dancing in my chair. “Woo hoo!” I thought. “I could meet Matt and Karen!” The mere idea that they’d be within a half-hour drive made me giddy. While I am not one of those folks who thinks their characters were the best thing since sliced bread, I liked them both well enough, and respect Matt and Karen as actors.

The relevant weekend is fast approaching, though. I wasn’t sure I’d have time, and cash is certainly in short supply lately. How much would it be just to get in the door? I knew I wouldn’t go all three days, but a single day might be do-able. Those tickets range from $35-45 (currently ~£21-27). That’s a little more than I’d like to spend, but I could almost justify it, to see Matt and Karen. Once I was in, though, I’d want access—after all, that’s what I’ve come to expect at Gally. Even if I couldn’t afford to get photos, I reasoned, I’d at least want autographs.

This is the point at which my little dream world began to crumble.

There are several ways to see the particular stars you most want to see at this Comic Con. Aside from general admission, which would get one the chance to get into the Q&A panels, you can purchase autograph tickets, photo op tickets, or VIP tickets. From first perusal of the minimum end of my wish list, I was stunned. Autographs alone are exorbitantly priced. For Karen, it’s $60 (£36); for Matt, $100 (£59)—and that’s just for an 8″x10″ photo! Heaven forfend you ask them to autograph another item. There’s a separate price tier for either a “premium item” or “everything else”: $80 (£48) or $150 (£89), respectively!

Then we get to the photo ops. Again, Karen commands a slightly lower fee at $65 (£39) to Matt’s $100 (£59), but if you want the two of them together (which is an option!), you’ll have to cough up a hefty $195 (£116). Before I went looking at prices, I’d briefly entertained the notion of donning my TARDIS costume and going to the con long enough to get a photo with them. Guess that’s not in the cards.

But wait—there’s more! If you want to get really ridiculous, you can pay for a “VIP Experience.” What’s that get you, you ask? For Karen or Matt individually, that’s a 3-day con ticket, a specific limited edition comic book, a Karen Gillan or Matt Smith VIP badge, 30-minute early access to the show floor on Saturday/Sunday, and a “Speedpass” for autographs and photo ops with the relevant star. For Karen, it’s a mere $270 (£160); for Matt, $350 (£208). What’s that, you say? You want it all? You want to stalk both of them? No problem! Your Doctor Who dual VIP pass grants you all the same perks (except superlative!) for the low, low price of $525 (£312)!

I don’t know about other fans, but for me, that’s a lot of scratch. There is no way in hell I’ll ever pay that much money for autographs or photos; it’s simply not feasible. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but given that the only con I’ve ever attended is Gally, I am. I’ve been spoiled. Not only am I accustomed to Doctor Who being the sole focus, but I’ve gotten used to the organizers striving to make their con the best experience for all involved, rather than to fleece attendees for all they’re worth.

I get that the whole Wizard World scene is a business, and I suppose there are folks out there for whom the model works (as an attendee, I mean—obviously it works well for the organizers/owners). It just makes me sad to have just one more of my naïve little fandom bubbles burst. On the other hand, it makes me all that much more thankful for my Gally peeps and the con that brings us together. So, “to each their own,” “live and let live,” and “we’re all fans here.” Go forth and enjoy your fandom! For now, I’m staying home.