I’m going to let my Fan Entitlement flag fly for a moment—something of which I don’t generally approve—and say that it’s about bloody time there were some new episodes of Doctor Who on the air. The first episode of Series 10 is finally going out on 15 Apr 2017 (mere days after my next Confession, incidentally), and I couldn’t be more ready.

It’s selfish and rude of me to be so antsy—after all, other shows have even longer waits—but going a full year between episodes in 2016 was like torture, especially given all the other Scheiße that went down last year. Since the show’s return in 2005, we’ve generally not had to wait more than about six months for new material—even during the Year of Specials—though there have been a few larger gaps. The span between the 2011 Christmas special and the start of Series 7, for example, was just over eight months.

During Capaldi’s era, however, extended wait times have become both increasingly long and increasingly standard. Right from the get-go, we had to wait eight months between Smith’s departure in the 2013 Christmas special and Capaldi’s debut in Series 8. The following year, there were nine months between the 2014 Christmas special and Series 9.

Exactly six years ago today, my first post appeared on this blog. It’s a little hard to believe it’s been so long! When I started out, I had a lot to say. I was still less than three years into my fandom, and really didn’t have anyone to talk to about the show, at least not in any in-depth way. I had only just joined Twitter, in order to promote the blog, and hadn’t even heard of Gally until I’d been on Twitter for a while. (That was back in the day when one could still decide on a whim in August to go to Gally the following February, rather than needing lightning-fast fingers during a brief few-minute window in May.)

So it felt exciting and energizing to try to connect with other fans and share my take on things in a way I’d not seen discussed. I didn’t feel like most of the folks whose opinions I was reading at the time could relate to my perspective at all, and I hoped to add a new voice to the mix.

Since then, I’ve developed a great many fan friendships, some of them close. I’ve had conversations both online (here on the blog and elsewhere) and in person about any number of Doctor Who-related topics. I’ve experienced my second realtime regeneration and all the feels that accompany the change in lead actor. I’ve met many cast, crew, and production team members. I’ve been on a bunch of panels at both Gally and my local con CONsole Room.

And the conversations have changed.

I had something else planned for this Confession, but in the days leading up to the US Presidential election, all thoughts of blogging left my head, and now that potential post no longer feels like the right thing to post today.

So I guess what I have to say instead is only peripherally related to Doctor Who. I like to think that the Doctor stands for equality and justice for all people, no matter their color, religion, species, or other identity. I like to think that he calls us to do the same, inspired by his example—including when he messes up.

I really think the US has messed up.  There are many who disagree with me, who think that anything to change the status quo is an improvement. And while I agree that there is a lot that already needed changing in our country, I firmly believe that the results of this election will not lead us to improvement. I think a lot of people are going to be hurt—and by hurt I mean economically, emotionally, and physically, even to the point of death—rather than helped by this incoming administration.

As for the "progressive left" here, the supposedly forward-thinking white liberals, I really hope the scales have finally fallen from their—from our— eyes. I hope we finally answer the wakeup call that POC have been trying for decades to get us to acknowledge. Our country has never "gotten past" racism and anti-Semitism; there's no "post-racial America." We need to recognize, call out, and change the ideas and practices in our society that allow the marginalization of so many.

For right now though, I'm still kind of numb. I'm at a loss—not to understand how this could happen, but to know how to move forward and help make positive change for the betterment of both the marginalized and the frightened, one-time majority who see their own way of life disappearing. I want to believe it can be better, but I foresee a vast amount of pain and suffering between here and there.

And I am afraid.

No matter what else brings fans to Who, the Doctor (in his many incarnations) and his Companions are the backbone—the major components that keep us coming back. While not every character or actor is every fan’s cup of tea, some seem to be ones we (or at least the production team) can’t get enough of. They appear multiple times, either within the same story (doppelgängers) or at some later date (suspiciously familiar), more often than not without explanation.

Doppelgängers are a familiar concept in the modern era, even discounting Clara’s split-across-time personae. The Zygons alone are responsible for an unseemly number of them. Perhaps most famously, the Osgoods—one human, one Zygon (and eventually another Zygon)—appeared side by side, working to maintain a tenuous peace. Of course, any time the Zygons crop up, they keep the audience guessing about which individual is the original and which the doppelgänger. It’s good mental exercise.

Similarly, we’ve seen the Flesh. Not specifically sentient by itself, the Flesh was a more technological take on Zygon bio-duplication. (And now I’m wondering if it didn’t start as a script work-around before usage rights for the Zygons could be secured…) Before we saw the larger-arc implications of the Flesh, though, we got full-on doppelgänger action with the Eleventh Doctor and his Ganger (the term for a Flesh duplicate directly referencing the German root word).

Last week was rough. The big thunderstorm that rolled through town on Tuesday was excitement enough, what with trees and branches downed everywhere and power out for as much as a couple days for some folks. But then Wednesday night the epidemic of police violence against Black citizens hit close to home.

Less than five miles from my home, on a stretch of road I’ve driven countless times myself, a Black couple and child were pulled over nominally due to a broken taillight. The man, whose name was Philando Castile, did not leave the scene alive.

Aside from this particular tragedy happening in my neck of the woods, Philando’s death affected one of my micro-communities directly. You see Philando—or “Mr. Phil,” as he was known to the kids—worked at my daughters’ school.

So why am I bringing it up here, of all places? There are several reasons. First and foremost, it’s what’s been on my mind. And though I don’t get a lot of traffic on the blog, especially since I changed my weekly posting schedule, this is where I have the largest platform. As a white person—a white American, specifically—I feel like I have to stop hiding behind my desire not to invite conflict (good God, I hate facing personal conflict) and speak up when and where I can.