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Confession #9: I’m Tired of Catchphrases

The Daleks just wouldn’t be the Daleks if they didn’t trundle around screaming Exterminate!, but before Nu-Who (or “the RTD era,” as some would prefer the beginning of the Doctor’s on-screen return to be called), they pretty much had the monopoly on catchphrases.  These days, everybody’s got one, from the Cybermen (Delete!) to the Sontarans (Sontar-ha!) to the Doctor himself (the repeated use of Geronimo! is the one thing that really rubs me the wrong way about Eleven).  Even the Companions are getting into the act (Spoilers, anyone?).

Since when was having a clearly identifiable catchphrase cool?  Somehow “fantastic!” didn’t sound as inane coming from Nine’s lips, but perhaps I just wasn’t yet inured to the idea of the same word popping out of the Doctor’s mouth every other episode.  It gets much worse with Ten, who even goes so far as to consciously cultivate a catchphrase in Army of Ghosts:  “I like that: allons-y! I should say ‘allons-y‘ more often.”  And, of course, after that he does.  He even gets to uncork his self-proclaimed ideal catchphrase (“Allons-y, Alonzo!”) in Voyage of the Damned.

It’s getting out of control.  For a particular example, put yourself in the Doctor’s place.  I mean seriously – you’re about to sacrifice everything in a last-ditch effort to save the entire universe, you have one last chance to say something to your beloved friends, and you choose… Geronimo”?!  What sort of shitty “famous last word” is that?  I mean, generally speaking, I dearly love Moffat’s writing (The Curse of Fatal Death still puts me in danger of snorting my drink out my nose every time), but c’mon…

Confession #8: I’d Love to See More Classic Baddies (and Think We Will)

Part of the bread and butter of Doctor Who is introducing new creatures to be antagonists for the Doctor.  Writers experiment with it, thrive on it, even cash in on it (~cough~TerryNation~cough~).  Despite our perceptions, though – thanks mostly to institutions such as the Daleks and the Cybermen – most of them show up no more than twice.  So it’s not surprising that we end up with such one-offs as the Sycorax, clockwork robots, the Carrionites, the Vashta Nerada, and the Krafayis (some of which fully deserve to remain relegated to the annals of history).  We’ve also, however, had recurrences of the (rather regrettable) Slitheen, the Ood, and the Weeping Angels as well as the return of the Autons, the Sontarans, and (WTF?) the Silurians.

But what I really want to see is more links back to some the more interesting – and not yet overused – pre-RTD-era baddies.  Here I’m thinking of entities such as the Toymaker, the Black Guardian, the Valeyard, or Omega.  In fact, all of these crossed my mind at one point or another as a possibility for the culprit behind the as-yet-unexplained Silence and reason for the TARDIS’s explosion in Series Fnarg.  And while Toby Jones’ brilliantly creepy Dream Lord could well have been interpreted as another aspect of the Valeyard, I don’t honestly think either the Valeyard or the Toymaker are good fits for the Big Bad of Series Six.  My money (and a huge pent-up fangirl squee, if this wishful thinking pans out) is on Omega.

It’s recently been brought to my attention that I’m behind the curve on this idea.  So I’m certainly not an original thinker on this front, but I submit that I am at least an independent thinker (like Newton and Leibniz, or Hertzsprung and Russell).  Suffice it to say, I had the idea myself – it sprang from the murky depths of my own fandom, not from cruising others’ forum posts.

Confession #7: I’ve Learned to Like Six

As I was first learning about the pre-RTD Doctors, I heard a lot of love for Three, Four and Five, and a lot of hate for Six and Seven.  Although I’ve never understood why Seven was so reviled (perhaps because my first experience with him was Remembrance of the Daleks, which included Ace, who was to become one of my all-time favorite Companions), I must admit that I took an instant dislike to Six, as I’d come to expect I would.

I suppose it was partly a self-fulfilling prophecy, but when you consider my first exposure to Six (not counting the regeneration scene) was in Vengeance on Varos – in which he is exceptionally snotty to Peri (who, granted, kind of deserves it, but not that much…) – perhaps it’s not surprising I didn’t take to him right away. All I got from him was egomania and disregard for his Companion – not a Doctorly attitude at all. It wasn’t till much later that I discerned any sort of affection for Peri underlying the banter.

Since those first few months, though, I’ve come to appreciate him as a great character in his own right. Mostly, this is due to the brilliance of Rich Morris, artist and web comic writer extraordinaire, who penned the epic fan comic The Ten Doctors (also available in PDF format here). It was through Rich’s work that I was finally able to see the beautiful potential of Six, who really had been done a disservice by his writers, in my opinion. (Not to mention the costume designer – what is up with that nasty outfit? Why couldn’t they have gone monochrome?) The Six of TTD was extremely clever, yet never out of acerbic character from the televised episodes.  He was somehow simultaneously grumpy and charming. I had a lot of respect for that version of Six, and was able to superimpose the positive qualities exhibited there onto the on-screen Doctor afterward.  (In fact, I learned a lot about Doctor Who as a whole from both TTD and the associated forums, which are populated by some really knowledgeable folks in what is probably the friendliest community on Teh Intarwebs.)

Confession #6: The Fourth Doctor Kind of Bugs Me

If Confession #3 irked a few Neo-Whovians (and yes, I did catch some flak from the Ladies), then this one is sure to incur the wrath of some Old Skool Whovians.  Tom Baker, aka Four (you know the one – “all teeth and curls,” perpetually wrapped in a ridiculously long scarf), is one of the best-loved Doctors of all time.  In fact, before David Tennant’s stint, he was the most popular Doctor ever.  However, though I do generally enjoy him, a lot of times Four just sort of rubs me the wrong way.

First, there’s the way he seems to work so hard on being weird.  Sure, the googly eyes give him a head start, but that’s the least of it.  There are so many instances where he’ll just repeat! someone else’s line enough to startle (“of course!”), and then come down from that vocal high still as confused as ever (“nope – still don’t know what you’re talking about”) that it ceases to either surprise or amuse (a trait Tennant borrowed for Ten, though I don’t believe he wielded it as often).  I think it would bug me less if it weren’t such an ongoing gag.  It’s something that feels like it started as one of Baker’s many attempts to make the cast and crew lose their composure and start laughing on set – except that once it worked, he kept inserting it as one of Four’s quirks, and it lost its effect (file under: funny once).

What really irritates me, though, is how rude he is to everyone.  He frequently cuts off his Companions mid-sentence, usually when they’re trying to tell him something important that he needs to know.  It doesn’t matter who it is – Sarah Jane, K-9, even Romana (who’s supposed to be as clever as the Doctor) – all suffer the same indignity and implication of insignificance.  Again, every once in a while it can be amusing, but it seems to happen nearly every story.  His self-centeredness in this sense feels very anti-Doctor to me, and makes me wonder:  where’s the Doctor who loves and values his Companions?  Oh, I know he does, but as the saying goes, he has a funny way of showing it…

Confession #5: I Have My Own Theories About River Song

This is more an “admission” than a confession, but hey – it’s my blog.

Especially with Series Six coming up in a matter of weeks, and a promise that “everything changes,” ideas about who River Song “really is” are as abundant as fans who watch Nu-Who (if not more so).  I figured now was as good a time as any to put forth my own.

Perhaps I should start with a brief list of the most common hypotheses that I don’t buy.  For example:

  • She’s the Doctor’s wife.  Yeah, right.  They may act “like an old married couple” and there have been hints dropped left and right that they are, but I just can’t credit it.  Undoubtedly, there’s a romantic (or even just sexual) component to the relationship, but if River is the Doctor’s wife, then that is only a fraction of the whole story.  Otherwise, the rest makes no sense.
  • She’s a future incarnation of the Doctor.  This idea clearly comes out of certain fans’ long-standing desire to see a female Doctor, but River Song is no Valeyard.  While she clearly knows how to handle herself in the TARDIS and such, she’s much too comfortable with violence in general, and guns in particular, for me ever to believe she’s the Doctor.
  • She’s another Time Lord.  I’m more willing to believe this one than some of the others, but it still doesn’t ring true to me.  If she’s traipsing around the 51st century, why is the Doctor convinced all through the rest of Nu-Who that he (or, for a time, the Master) is the last of the Time Lords?  Supposedly he can sense other Time Lords, regardless of where (or, presumably, when) they are.  None of that fits with what we know of River.
  • She’s the Doctor’s mother/daughter.  Are these people on drugs?  There is nothing either maternal or filial in River’s attitude toward the Doctor.  If there were, then other comments would be distinctly incestuous in nature, which is far too creepy for someone like Moffat to include in a show that is – at least in Britain – specifically aimed at a family audience.  I’d sooner believe the Woman in White from The End of Time had either familial relationship with the Doctor (most certainly not my interpretation) than that River does.

Confession #4: I Hate the “Standard” Regenerations

Warning:
This site (specifically, this post) contains profanity.  If you can’t handle that, turn back now.

 

When Nine regenerated into Ten, Rose looked on in consternation as all the energy of the Time Vortex streamed back out of him as a bright, shining light pouring from his arms and head.  It was dramatic, it was beautifully done, and it was appropriate.  So what the hell was going on when the same effect turned the Jacobi-Master into the Simms-Master?  He’d just been shot, for shit’s sake – why would he get all glowy?

Former Head Writer/Executive Producer Russell T. Davies (commonly known as RTD) would have us believe that there needed to be a sense of continuity about the regeneration process, or new viewers wouldn’t understand that it was the way all Timelords change their bodies whenever they near death.  Give me a fucking break.  Are we really so stupid we can’t figure out that a body change is still a body change?  How does it make sense to have all regenerations the same, no matter the cause?  If a Timelord dies of a paper cut, should his regeneration cause him to stand up from where he’s collapsed and shoot golden light out of every orifice?  Hardly.  That’s clearly something else coming out of one of RTD’s orifices, if you ask me.

Confession #3: I Might Like Matt Smith Better Than David Tennant

Blasphemy!  Heresy!  Buuuuuurn heeeeeer!

OK, that’s probably overstating the reaction a bit, but I may well be ostracized at my own get-together after this one.  The Ladies of WhoFest are firm Tennantites, so admitting my Smithian leanings is sure to engender some antagonism, or at the very least disdain. I can’t deny it any more, though.  I think Eleven has surpassed Ten for me in terms of watchability.

Don’t get me wrong – Ten is my Doctor.  I fell in love with him (yeah, I mean it that way – how Mary Sue of me; and yes, I wept like a pregnant lady during The End of Time…), and through him learned to love all the Doctors, each in their own way.  But there’s something a bit off-putting about The Lonely God after a while.  While I loved the Saddest Doctor when he was in a manic phase – oh, that smile… – I got tired of him getting screwed (metaphorically, and – depending on how you interpret a few things – literally) all the time.  The guy couldn’t catch a break.  Given how RTD chose to write his story arc, I have to say it was probably time for Ten to regenerate; I mean, how much lower could he go?

Perhaps it will come as no surprise, then, when I say that what I’ve come to love most about Eleven is the return of his joie de vivre.  Sure, the pain is still lurking there in his eyes when someone forcibly reminds him of it, but for the most part, he can put it out of his mind the way anyone who’s lost a loved one learns to do (or, as Two put it in Tomb of the Cybermen, “I have to really want to – to bring them back in front of my eyes. The rest of the time they… they sleep in my mind, and I forget.”).  But overall, Eleven gives off a kid-in-a-candy-store vibe, like he hardly knows where to begin because it’s all so fabulous – sort of like Ten’s breathy “that’s beautiful!” upon first seeing the werewolf in Tooth and Claw, except all the time. New regeneration, new companion(s), new outlook; in a sense everything that Ten was really did die.  And while part of me misses him, another larger part just doesn’t have the time, because watching Eleven is too damn much fun.

Confession #2: I Haven’t Seen Them All

Now I may damage my cred with certain parts of The Community by this admission (perhaps especially those Neo-Whovian friends who regard me as a font of knowledge about Classic Who), but the sad truth of the matter is, I haven’t seen all the Doctor Who stories out there. Shocking, I know.

This lapse in my own Doctor Who education is the product of one of my general character flaws (or “quirks,” depending on who you ask): I’m not only a completist but also very particular about what I choose to collect. When I began my search for Classic stories, I didn’t want anything on VHS, dinosaur technology that it is, so I started looking for what was out on DVD. Rather to my surprise, not everything had yet been released. (What had the BBC been doing all these years that I didn’t care about Doctor Who? They were supposed to be getting everything ready for me, for when I discovered a new obsession!) Not only that, but each story (often misleadingly labeled as an “episode”) was its own DVD, worth anywhere from $10 to $35 (“on up” for boxed sets of related stories) at list price. Yikes!

Much to my chagrin, my local library system failed me. Not only were there no DVDs in the system to check out, there were precious few VHS tapes, either. Fumbling around in the dark on my own, not having found any real link to The Community yet, I didn’t even know whether or not to waste my time with what the library had. There had to be a better way…

Confession #1: I Am a Neo-Whovian

My folks didn’t watch a whole lot of tv when I was growing up, and when they did, it was mostly PBS (public broadcasting). I suppose that’s why on very rare occasions, I’d come across my dad watching some unknowably ridiculous thing and have to ask what it was. A few times, it would be Star Trek, which – as an American – is a show I learned quite a bit about, eventually becoming a bit of a Trekker myself in college (where we watched new episodes of TNG religiously). On at least one occasion, though, I remember being really taken aback at the absurdity of the two minutes of something-random I watched with my dad. That was my first introduction to Doctor Who.

It wasn’t a part of the American psyche the way it was – is – in Britain. I mean, sure, I’d heard of Doctor Who and its slightly… OK, very eccentric fans. For example, the Doctor Who Club in college tended to consist of shady figures who wore long woolen cloaks around campus (come to think of it, many of them were part of the campus Druids, too…), which didn’t particularly inspire the uninitiated to jump right in and join the fandom. I didn’t really know much of anything about the show, though. I’m a bit embarrassed in retrospect to admit that when my husband commented that the first little house we bought was like a TARDIS, he had to explain to me that he meant it was bigger on the inside.

Not until one of my friends nearly forced the “new series” (aka, Nu-Who) on me by showing me the first four episodes (which I thought were OK, but not exciting; thankfully he persisted) did I really catch the fever. And when I did, I caught it bad. In the course of approximately two weeks, I watched the end of Series 1, the entirety of Series 2 and 3, and caught up to the then-currently-airing Series 4 at about episode 6. I have watched every episode from S04E07 (The Unicorn and the Wasp) onward as they were broadcast.